is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
