i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
