Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
