i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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