how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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