Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
