I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I deserve this hangover.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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