Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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