I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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