I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
