Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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