The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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