i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
