I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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