ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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