Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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