I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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