I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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