She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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