I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
