Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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