So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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