it wasn't lemon gatorade
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize