I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
