Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
