i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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