It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
