I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
