So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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