You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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