Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Randomize