apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
