he thought i was a dude.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
