Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
