Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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