Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
