ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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