so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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