I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
