Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
