Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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