i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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