I just cut my nipple shaving
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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