Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
