Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
