we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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