glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
