Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
