How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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