My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
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THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize