Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
