Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
