i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
