those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize