so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
