I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
