Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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