He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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