Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
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I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.