i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...