Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
