Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN