Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
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Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.