Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize