Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
