Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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