i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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