How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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