We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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