WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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